Thinking...

   Have you ever felt like life has stopped right in front of you, refuses to move until you look it right in the eyes, and pay attention to what is goin on and the changes that it's making as each day progresses? I've felt like that recently. You're just walking, minding your own business and it so rudely steps in front of you forcing you to look at it. lol
  It amazes me at how we change as we get older, how we learn and grow. Recently mom was talking to me and said," You're getting older. This will be your future. The choices you make will affect you and your future children. Dont get me wrong, what you do will effect us too because we are your family, but in the end it's mostly you. We, your dad and I, are going to do our best to lead you down the right path, to give you the best future you can possibly have." I remember nodding as she spoke, letting her words sink in. "The choices I make"...I replayed those words again and again once I was in my room alone that night. "This will be your future."... It's a scary moment in life, when your age hits you. It's when suddenly, you feel like this person stuck between child and adult. But, closer to adult than child. I honestly think that's the more scary part, being closer to an adult than a child. When you're a child, you have to make choices too, but not huge ones. Your choices are such as, picking what to wear out of your closet for the day(even then maybe not), what color to use next when your coloring a picture, grilled cheese sandwich or chicken strips for dinner at a restaurant?  Things you have to choose, such as opinions mostly. Mom and dad always chose the important things. You never had to worry about them. Now, as I stand looking at my life, I see that now it's my turn to make descions. Thankfully not all of them, but some important ones. I'm so excited about my future, but right now it seems like one of those moments you read in a book, or watch in a movie. The part where the person has lived in the same town his/her whole life and now she/he has a destination he/she wants to go to. They pack, plan, get excited, and start down the path they have chosen to go down. I have chosen my path and now I must prepare myself to go down it when it's time. With God and the guidance of my parents, I see my future and it's beautful.
  Another thing I realize it how mature you think you are. How ready for anything you think you are and how it's pointed out to you (quite clearly might I add, at least wt me. lol) how immature you really are. That, yet again, has happened to me recently. lol Ya know the moment when you just want to crawl over to your mama and lay your head on her lap while she sings softly and brushes her fingers on your face, gently putting you to sleep? Yeah, those moments. The moments when you just wish you were little and careless again. How silly are we to wish and dream about being older, and then we grow and age, and then wish and dream to go back to how it was! lol Mom will be cutting my sisters food and I'll look over at her and smile and wink. She knows I'm picking, but it amazes me at the little things I miss about being little. The moments you het older and suddenly there is a big peice of meat on your plate and you're like, "I have to cut it? Yes!!!"....*Years pass*..."I have cut it. :/ " lol I have no problem cutting my food, but those are the kinds of moments I'm talking about. In conclusion to this post, I've done alot of thinking. lol Sometimes...to pull away from the world and think (about anything) is one of the best things to do. It helps me clear my head of the little thoughts that usually buzz around and bump into eachother. lol 

With love,